#38. Do stand-up comedy- Completed 8/5/10

Public speaking is the number one fear for most people alive today.

That is precisely why I had performing stand-up as one of my list items. I guess I also fancy myself as a funny person. The first thing I had to do was to find locations that had an open mic night. This is when they allow newcomers to get about 5 minutes of stage time at a bar.

I found a place near Nashville by the name of Rusty Nail. I know, it sounds like a rough place.

They, generally, have this event on Thursday nights. I signed up and invited a bunch of my friends and family. If I was going down I wanted everyone to at least be able to laugh at how atrocious my set was.

The next thing I had to do before the big night was to get together some original jokes. This proved to be an easier task than I realized. It was only 5 minutes. It wasn’t as if I was doing an hour long special on Comedy Central. I would write down the jokes to get the wording correct and then I would say them aloud.

A couple of them were quite a bit funnier in my head than when they were said out loud. I read everything I could online about how to prepare and making sure my jokes tied in smoothly.

The big night finally came. There was about 45 people at the bar this particular night, half of which came to see me. I couldn’t let everyone down.

I signed up and was about the 15^th comic to come onstage. When my time came I went up there with the light shining in my eyes and did fairly well for my first time trying it. I can now say from experience what it feels like to stand on a stage and make an entire room laugh. (not sure if they were laughing at me or with me)

Sample joke from my set that night:

Identity thieves are getting really smart these days. They are everywhere too. I picture them like a loan officer screening possible clients. They wouldn’t want my identity though. They would be going through the stack.

 “Yeah hers is good. He has a good one. Definitely take his.”

 Then they get to mine.

“What is this? I can’t buy a tote-the-note ’86 Bronco with this.”

 I am so broke and in debt I wish they would steal me an identity.

 At least somebody with food stamps, so I could eat something other than Ramen for dinner…..and lunch….sometimes breakfast.

Not my funniest joke, but defintiely the cleanest, so I felt it was most appropriate to post.